A Mind is a Terrible Thing NOT to Waste!

Global warming, weapons of mass destruction, Britney Spears, no wonder you're getting migraines. But David Samson has a dynamic way to end the stress. The secret is Useless Knowledge Replacement Therapy.

For Useless Knowledge replaces Useful Knowledge on the cellular level. It deletes all the data that's been choking your brain including PIN codes and the names of people in your car pool. True, you'll be worthless to society, but you'll definitely get invited to a lot more parties!

Do men have higher sperm counts in New York or Los Angeles?

David Samson is America's Most "Useless" Expert! Never has anyone presented so much that answers so little of consequence:

• Who was REALLY the first President of the United States?
  
  
• What company invented and trademarked Heroin?
  
  
• Why is the word "Golf" insulting to women?
  
  
• What animal has fingerprints just like humans?
  
  
• Which insurance company pays $1,000,000 for alien abduction?
  
  
• What's the only liquid tropical fish can live in besides sea water?
  
  
• Who were the first couple to share the same bed on a TV sitcom?
  
  
• Why should candles be refrigerated before a romantic dinner?
  

  Want the Answers?
  Get the Book or Book Funny Guy!
  

Why don't dead people decay as fast as they used to?

Becoming a fountain of Useless Knowledge may be the wisest decision you ever make! Imagine how your life will change when you know...

• Which is louder -- a jet plane taking off or a hippo having sex?
  
  
• How many people has Dr. Ruth killed with a submachine gun?
  
  
• Why don't dead people decay as fast as they used to?
  
  
• What religious anagram is derived from Britney Spears?
  
  
• What's the scientific name for sunburned skin that peels off?
  
  
• Why does the world's most expensive coffee taste like dung?
  
  
• Why is "The Muppet Show" banned in Saudi Arabia?
  
  
• What dessert has the same frequency as brain waves?
  
  

Useless Knowledge never has to be updated, modified, changed, defended or ever retracted. Useless Knowledge never becomes obsolete. It's just as useless today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. And truthfully, who could ask for anything less?

So clearly, it's time to let David Samson reprogram your brain cells with stuff they'll really love. Dynamite data they'll want to keep on file forever and forever and never make you forget. But you better contact Funny Guy today -- before you totally lose your mind!

Why should you change your cat's name to Bill Clinton?