HOW TO BE POOR ON ANY INCOME!

The Secrets of Financial Insecurity

Get out of Blue Chips and into Cow Chips! Trade your Grain Futures for Migraine Futures! Change your IRA's into IOU's!

Come on. Use your imagination. See yourself living in an empty furniture box eating dog chow while reading "Better Homes and Cartons." But remember, first you have to believe in yourself -- in your unlimited capacity to become a totally worthless person. And who better to guide you to ruin than America's Biggest Loser -- David Samson!

That's right! Funnyguy didn't let brains, charisma, good looks, or a twelve million dollar trust fund stop him from reaching the bottom of the barrel. And you can become an exciting failure too! Think of it. Spending all your lonely nights fondling a bottle of ketchup. Sound too good to be true? Try David Samson's "Poverty Without Risk" program and -- if you're not destitute within thirty days -- you will get NONE of your money back. Guaranteed! Get pointers about:

• The Misfortune 500
• How to develop the extraordinary "Will To Lose"
• High Risk/No-Gain Business Opportunities
• Unreal Estate Investments & Discredit Cards
• Doomsday Diversification

Let's be honest. The more you have, the more you want, and then you can never get enough, you greedy SOB. However, when you have zilch, nada, bupkes, that's as low as you can go -- no more anxiety about money. No more mortgage payments, mutual funds, IRS worries, fears that your spouse will get everything in a divorce -- including the Waterpik and weed whacker!

Small wonder that former teachers, doctors, arsonists, and lawyers have all discovered that poverty is the perfect way of coping with the stress of modern existence -- and it's so easy to get into! That's why Funnyguy teaches everything you need to know about Downward Mobility. Find out where impoverished people meet, what they say, what they wear, and how they style their hair! Learn why you should immediately:

• Pad your resume with Past Life Experience

• Buy Savings Bonds -- in Bangla Desh

• Give yourself a new business title (Head of Lettuce)

• Fill out loan applications in Pig Latin

• Make your major financial instrument a tuba

Isn't it time to get the lack of status you deserve? Don't forget. Poverty is security -- if only for financial reasons. So stop making those poor excuses! Follow David Samson's worthless advice and start enjoying the impoverished lifestyle today! You have nothing to gain and everything to lose!!

Want to Know More About...

The Published Books of David Samson?

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Sales and Marketing Strategies?

The Funny Stuff Dave Raves About?

Having Speeches Written or "Jazzed-Up?

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Stress-Busting Business Seminars?

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Speaking and Creative Consulting Fees?

Or Just Contact Funny Guy Immediately!